I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize