sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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