I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
