No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
