I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
