my phone cant type all the emotion im having
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Randomize
