I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
