it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize