This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
