If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
