If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
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I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
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Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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