Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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