my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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