I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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