i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
