you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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