Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
