based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
