BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
