What did we do last night that was yellow?
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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