I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
you will always have a special place in my vag
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
What drink are we having for lunch?
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
