I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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