oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
