I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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