Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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