Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
