I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
