Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
