Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
