it wasn't lemon gatorade
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
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