Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
