I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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