Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
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