I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
