Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
