I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
