dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
