Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
