I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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