i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
