Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
