So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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