I think I am morally bankrupt
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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