Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
