He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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