Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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