She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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