Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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