I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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