We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
