Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
love makes seman taste better
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Randomize
