Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
