That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
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