we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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