Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
