remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
