Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
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