thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Randomize
