actually, I'm a sock model
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
