he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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